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Why is there such a stigma around sex?

By LiveWell Community

This may be an uncomfortable conversation for people, and if you had asked me 6 years ago to write about sex I would have cringed at the thought. Growing up, sex was always something we didn’t talk about in my house. When it was spoken about, it was that sex is a bad thing and we don’t speak about it. Was that my way of parental protection? Maybe, but that didn’t stop me from having a child at 22 out of wedlock. I think the conversations we have had with our parents and our early, adolescent experiences shape our view on sex as we reach our mid 20’s. Before you reach a certain age, even hearing the word “sex” sends waves of embarrassment through your entire body, especially if you are with other people, and really, you’re just wanting the floor to swallow you up. But why do we feel that way? Why don’t we talk about sex more often and show that building a culture of healthy, sexual relationships will reduce this unnecessary stigma.

There are many religious restrictions surrounding sex and having and enjoying sex pre-marriage is seen as shameful, which is why most people keep it a secret. If we are having to hide something we admittedly enjoy, how is that helping us be free? Be us? Be who we want to be. Sex is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, sex is a completely natural and normal part of our every day lives. After all, orgasms come with a heap of benefits, including clearer skin, improved sleep, and a boost in your immunity and mood. If that isn’t enough to get your senses tingling, I don’t know what is!

Though there are many pros to the internet, there are also lots of cons, one of them being pornographic content which is readily available for all age groups to access. Watching porn without realising it is not typically “normal” creates an unhealthy view on sex, which is a reason it may become a taboo topic.

Talking about sex amongst people you know has been deemed taboo because it's seen as something incredibly intimate which you share with your partner. Which is absolutely right, it is, but having conversations with friends about sex can be a springboard into having a healthier sex life with your partner. It may seem odd having such private conversations with other people, but it really helps you to recognise that you’re all probably in the same boat and doing the same things. You will suddenly feel that “shame” (which you should never feel fyi) slip away. These conversations then start to become more normal and natural, allowing you to then chat openly with your partner about what you like and dislike. For the first time ever I am with someone who I can really communicate with – About everything but also sex.

If you feel like sex is something that shouldn’t be spoken about, dig a little deeper and figure out why you feel like that? Why does talking about sex feel uncomfortable to you? Is it past experiences? Was it never spoken about as a child? Is it your religion? Does the media make you think of it as a sinful act? There are many reasons you may feel like sex is a taboo topic, and that’s okay, but please take some advice and normalise talking about it with somebody you trust. The more you talk and share (obvs. doesn’t have to be intimate and every single detail) your experiences, the more comfortable you become, and the topic becomes less of a taboo. Be sure to let us know what conversations have helped you overcome squirming when talking about sex!

 

By Hollie Warwick

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