All articles

Mothers- Juggling life and finding a balance whilst not losing the person before babies!

By LiveWell Community

Is a mum life/work life/me life totally unachievable? How do we include all of those things into our weekly schedule? How, do we be present mothers, work and enjoy a little bit of “me” time? It really does seem an impossible task. Especially when studies show that being a mother accounts to 2.5 full time jobs. How crazy is that?

I often reflect on my journey as a mother- Have I got things wrong? All the time. Have I sometimes lost my way with life and felt like all I do is “parent” – absolutely. Is it worth it? Most of the time. Sometimes not. I do believe that when you become a parent, you inevitably lose a bit of yourself because your priorities change and you naturally shift towards a more “settled” way of life. I have friends who have had children and it’s completely changed their world and they do not miss a single bit about their life pre-children. However, I also have friends who feel like they really pine for their “old-self” and feel like they are consistently fighting between pre and post parenthood. It’s a strange concept to grasp.

We get so swept up in the baby bubble that we forget who we were before we had children. Trying to balance work, and motherhood, and life, is really difficult, and you should be proud of yourself whatever this looks like to you. Of course, this is going to be subjective to each person because everyone’s life and priorities are different. One of the biggest lessons I have learnt with this is the art and power of communication. Talking to your friends (whether they have children or not) or your partner can help in more ways than one. For example, let your partner know how you are feeling overwhelmed with mum duties, work duties and maybe figure out together how you can share the load? Because I guarantee (not always) that you do most of the chores and the sorting, and the arranging school trips, and the lunch boxes and making sure everyone is fed and clothed. It’s a lot to handle. Don’t be afraid to speak up. If you are, consider whether this person is for you long term and whether you can carry on living in a relationship where you are doing most of the work.

Talk to your friends! It’s totally normal to miss your old self and miss doing things for “you”. Ask your friends for coffee, even if they bring children, having another human to talk to can really improve your mental health. However, I would say you need to make time for you. Consciously make time for you. What do you love doing that now seems impossible with children? Mine was/is going to the gym. I love the gym and it makes me really happy. Since having children I can’t just get up and go to the gym whenever I want. I can’t just head there after work because I have kids to pick up. Since consciously making the effort to arrange childcare so I can go to the gym has made such a massive improvement to my mental health. Having that hour or so to myself means I am happier, which in return makes me a better mother to my children. Having children doesn’t mean you lose who you are. You are still worthy, you are still YOU, you still deserve to do things alone or with friends without feeling guilty that you have left your little people behind. You become a better version of you when you have had the ability to do something meaningful to you.

Whatever stage of this journey you are on, keep reminding yourself how far you have already come. It’s not easy to navigate, but we get there, and you deserve the world and more. Keep going!

By Hollie Warwick

Most Popular

Back to the top